now

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learning how to be outside

this year i’ve really made progress on the whole being able to go outside thing. it’s been nice going to a couple of art galleries and local park festivals. experiencing art is way more exhausting than i expected[1]

reconnecting with people

i’ve also been trying to talk to people again. this has been… interesting. i had a lot of guilt for not being able to make it to events i’ve been invited to, and i finally make it, and, well, after a few shutdowns and then identifying and mitigating the causes, sometimes you find out people really missed you! and then sometimes you find that they think racist and transphobic jokes are appropriate 🙃. all the more reason to figure out how i want to go about meeting new people, too

doing stuff

i knitted more socks! i sewed a mask bag! i sewed a tissue pouch! i soldered a christmas tree as incorrectly as you can[2] while still succeeding, and i soldered a keyboard kit while only having to re-do a couple of solder joints! i’ve started learning a bit of toki pona, and i’ve started learning how to recognise a few bird calls! i love hearing the wheezing call of swifts and knowing that i can look up and see ’em zooming about

feeling feelings

over a year since going no-contact with my parents, three years since not working due to poor mental health—

i feel like i’m finally able to breathe

footnotes

  1. i feel like people on the internet really oversold how easy it was to have opinions?? instead of systematically looking at everything, like i normally do at museums, i took the advice of a plaque to go to whatever in the room drew me in the most. trying to tap into that feeling and constantly asking myself “what do i think of this one?” was equally exhausting as it was rewarding ↩︎

  2. including the season in which i chose to do it ↩︎